Whether it is a career move, a new business venture, or self-growth, we thrive on the encouragement of our tribe. Not all friends and family translate over into supporters. With time I realized that I was totally fine with it. Here’s how I dealt with getting out of my feelings while focusing on self validation and my bottom line.
DISCONNECT YOUR SELF-ESTEEM FROM THE ACCEPTANCE OF OTHERS
You had a purpose long before anyone had an opinion! -Unknown
This task is a lot harder than it sounds. It is so important for us to receive acceptance from our tribe. When those closest to us lack interest, it is a devastating blow for many of us. What is the solution, one may ask? Self-Love. I began my journey of self-love by small simple tasks including affirmations.
An affirmation is considered an action or process of affirming something. I began reciting and believing the affirmations I spoke over my life. I began doing things that brought me peace. Sometimes an affirmation chant just won’t do it. Other suggestions would include counseling, therapy, exercise, etc.
BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN
Self Esteem is realizing you are the Dream. -Oprah Winfrey
I’m so proud of you! Life tried to knock you down, and you are still here. Still Standing! Don’t gloss over your journey. Be proud of every step you take. Increase in your credit score? All you! Are you starting your first business? Go sis! Ridding yourself of toxic people and relationships? You did that! 3 lbs closer to your goal weight? You betta!
I noticed that I continued to progress when I acknowledged my accomplishments. One way I did this was through writing. My journals serve as encouragement and inspiration. I recently read a letter I wrote myself roughly 4 years ago about how far I had come and where I wanted to go. It not only brought tears to my eyes ( I accomplished everything I said I wanted to at that time), but it also lit the fire in me that was needed to continue on my journey of self-growth. Always remember that you are the dream. You have to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Pamper yourself! Go to a movie or a spa. You deserve it!
EVERYONE WILL NOT SHARE YOUR VISION
I dream it, I work hard, I grind til I own it. -Beyoncé
Fun fact about me: I go after EVERYTHING I want. I believe that strongly in my purpose set forth before me. I do not allow others to set limitations on my abilities and neither should you. Some people lack vision. They are usually not around for the labor, sweat, or the tears. It should come as no surprise when these people are there to feast on the fruits of your labor.
So how do I deal? I have learned over the years not to concern myself with the actions of others. It was my ‘soul sista’ who reminded me that you have to learn to love people where they are. This doesn’t mean you continue to let these same people drain you emotionally, physically, or financially. It just means you reach a place where you ‘expect’ very little from people. That way you aren’t always disappointed.
CELEBRATE THOSE WHO CELEBRATE YOU
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou
This is the most important lesson I have learned! Pay attention to those who are there. We spend so much time focusing on those who weren’t there that we tend to minimize the effort of those who are consistent in our lives. Uplift those who uplift you. Celebrate those who celebrate you! Continue to nurture and water those connections. Pay close attention to the fruits of love, patience, and appreciation. Reciprocity is key for these relationships to thrive.
Sound off! What are some other ways you celebrate your successes through self-validation?