The Journey of Self Validation

Whether it is a career move, a new business venture, or self-growth, we thrive on the encouragement of our tribe. Not all friends and family translate over into supporters. With time I realized that I was totally fine with it. Here’s how I dealt with getting out of my feelings while focusing on self validation and my bottom line.

DISCONNECT YOUR SELF-ESTEEM FROM THE ACCEPTANCE OF OTHERS

You had a purpose long before anyone had an opinion!  -Unknown

This task is a lot harder than it sounds. It is so important for us to receive acceptance from our tribe. When those closest to us lack interest, it is a devastating blow for many of us. What is the solution, one may ask? Self-Love. I began my journey of self-love by small simple tasks including affirmations.

An affirmation is considered an action or process of affirming something. I began reciting and believing the affirmations I spoke over my life. I began doing things that brought me peace. Sometimes an affirmation chant just won’t do it. Other suggestions would include counseling, therapy, exercise, etc.

BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN

Self Esteem is realizing you are the Dream. -Oprah Winfrey

I’m so proud of you! Life tried to knock you down, and you are still here. Still Standing! Don’t gloss over your journey. Be proud of every step you take. Increase in your credit score? All you! Are you starting your first business? Go sis!   Ridding yourself of toxic people and relationships? You did that! 3 lbs closer to your goal weight? You betta!

I noticed that I continued to progress when I acknowledged my accomplishments. One way I did this was through writing. My journals serve as encouragement and inspiration. I recently read a letter I wrote myself roughly 4 years ago about how far I had come and where I wanted to go. It not only brought tears to my eyes ( I accomplished everything I said I wanted to at that time), but it also lit the fire in me that was needed to continue on my journey of self-growth. Always remember that you are the dream. You have to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Pamper yourself! Go to a movie or a spa. You deserve it!

EVERYONE WILL NOT SHARE YOUR VISION

I dream it, I work hard, I grind til I own it. -Beyoncé

Fun fact about me: I go after EVERYTHING  I want. I believe that strongly in my purpose set forth before me. I do not allow others to set limitations on my abilities and neither should you. Some people lack vision. They are usually not around for the labor, sweat, or the tears. It should come as no surprise when these people are there to feast on the fruits of your labor.

 

So how do I deal? I have learned over the years not to concern myself with the actions of others. It was my ‘soul sista’ who reminded me that you have to learn to love people where they are. This doesn’t mean you continue to let these same people drain you emotionally, physically, or financially. It just means you reach a place where you ‘expect’ very little from people. That way you aren’t always disappointed.

 

CELEBRATE THOSE WHO CELEBRATE YOU

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.  -Maya Angelou

This is the most important lesson I have learned! Pay attention to those who are there. We spend so much time focusing on those who weren’t there that we tend to minimize the effort of those who are consistent in our lives. Uplift those who uplift you. Celebrate those who celebrate you! Continue to nurture and water those connections. Pay close attention to the fruits of love, patience, and appreciation. Reciprocity is key for these relationships to thrive.

Sound off! What are some other ways you celebrate your successes through self-validation?

 

 

How to balance a 9 to 5 while perfecting your 5 to 9

Side Hustle Chronicles

We’ve all seen the ‘why work for someone else’ posts COUPLED with a demand for cash or your life’s going to be trashy forever.  Listen! There is nothing wrong with providing a way for yourself and/or your family. There is also NOTHING wrong with you if you love your 9 to 5 job. The life of hustling (legally of course) for your next meal is not appealing to everyone. I’ve always had dreams of becoming an entrepreneur because entrepreneurship is strong within my family. As I grew older, I realized that working 80 to 90 hours a week just to make half of what I was making at my job wasn’t going to cut it. I tailored those dreams towards working smarter, not harder. Twisted Curly Cool is only a small portion of my journey. Here are a few tips on how I am balancing my 9 to 5 while financing my 5 to 9.

BE REALISTIC 

RULE NUMBER 1! UNLESS IT IS OF ABSOLUTE NECESSITY, please do not quit your job for the unknown.

I get it. You have a million dollar idea and your co-workers are getting on your nerves. Think it through sis! When I moved back to Atlanta, my job didn’t work out as planned. Of course hubby was working, but God bless the child who has her own!  It was quite stressful trying to pull my share of the household on a newly formed business while trying to establish clients. Once I gained my 9 to 5, I was able to pursue my entrepreneurial efforts without the worry of finances.

Disclaimer: It is this same financial safety net that blurred the line of complacency for me as Hubby, and I continued to progress in the 9 to 5 world.  However, I’m learning that this net is nothing more than an illusion as well. Yep. That’s an entirely different blog post!

HAVE A PLAN

Faith without works is DEAD!

I know I’ve lost a few people at “plan.” But I need you to thoroughly understand how IMPORTANT it is for you to have a plan FOR YOUR LIFE! You have to play Chess, not Checkers! Have a plan on how you are going to finance, execute, and achieve your entrepreneurial dreams. You are betting on yourself and now is not the time to “wing it.” Align yourself with your dream! Be the Dream! If planning isn’t your strong suit or you still don’t know where to start, I would suggest starting with your Local Small Business Administration Office.

TIME MANAGEMENT

Instead of saying I don’t have time, say it’s not a priority.

Time management consists of you setting priorities for yourself and executing them to achieve your goals. To do so, you would need to prioritize activities within your day to day life.  This may mean cutting out social gatherings, TV time, and gossip blogs on social media, (I know, I know). This may also mean attending conferences, network meetings, additional schooling or courses for certifications, etc. If YOUR dream is not a priority to you, it WILL NOT be a priority to anyone else.

PERFECT YOUR SIDE HUSTLE!

Your 9 to 5 should finance your 5 to 9

Before you jump with both feet in, now is the perfect time to start your project as a side hustle while you work. This way you can test the market to ensure there are customers for your products and/or services.  Start saving money from your 9 to 5 to finance your 5 to 9 from your 9 to 5. Even at $22.50 a paycheck, you are investing $50 a month into your 5 to 9.

Sound Off! What tips can you give our Side Hustling Sistas to assist them on their journey through entrepreneurship?